a test of my faith (Is God enough?)

When I wake up each morning, I don’t necessarily think about what could happen today (good or bad), that would challenge me to the core.

But today was one of the days for me. Sorry, I won’t go into details, but needless to say, it’s not been an easy day (and it’s not even ended yet).

I consider myself to be a strong person, not because of my own will or strength of character or experience, but because of the faith that the Lord Jesus has given me. Yes, my strength is in the Lord and comes from the Lord. And no, it’s not a crutch (or any other lame metaphors you can come up with) that I lean on because I am weak or need “fairy tales” to help me get going in life or make me feel good or have hope or all that garbage. No readers, I am speaking of genuine faith that comes from the Lord and an understanding of God (and who He is) that comes from the studying of the Word of God, the Bible.

When things are going well for us, it’s easy to live the Christian faith. It’s easy to go to Church. It’s easy to attend Bible studies. It’s easy to do morning (or evening devotionals). It’s easy to give tithes and offerings. It’s easy to serve in ministries. All in all, it’s easy to “be” a Christian or at least play the part. We are content to check the box, pat ourselves on the back and say to ourselves, “I am doing all right. I am a good Christian.”

But, when things get rough, what then? I am certain that you will agree that all of a sudden, it no longer is easy to do all of the above. When things are not so great (for whatever reason), living the Christian life (not just playing the role) becomes real. Real hard that is.

My particular situation has been hard on the heart. But, I praise the Lord for not letting me drown in my sadness or be lost in despair. He (the Lord Jesus) still gives me clarity of thought and the ability to see clearly through the tears and to sift through all my thoughts to understand and acknowledge what’s most important and what matters.

It is one thing to accept/acknowledge Christ, but a totally different matter to embrace Him, His ways and His Word and to apply it in everyday life. It is when the going gets tough that true faith has an opportunity to be at work in us and in our lives and for us to truly trust and rely on our relationship with the Lord Jesus. It is especially hard when one cannot share it with anyone (either there is no one you can share with or its something that cannot be shared with anyone for whatever reasons). I find myself in that situation and I know that all I can do is open my mind and my heart and my thoughts to the Lord, to be transparent with Him (though He knows everything, I still choose to confess out of love and humility) and tell Him how desperately I need Him, not just for the moment, but for the conceivable future. I have been talking to Him (yes, with words coming out of my mouth, as if He is right in front of me, with me), reading the Word/Bible (specially the many Psalms that allow me to pour my heart out to God) and just being in prayer.

All I can do is confess and repent of sins and just humble myself before the Lord, seek His face through His Word and in prayer and…………….wait. Patiently (boy is that hard!).

There is no magic cure for the problems we face in our everyday life. He doesn’t wave a wand and I am all well. It does not work like that (though I wish, in this particular instance, it did or that somehow, all this could be forgotten and I can wake up months later and life would have magically moved on – of course, that’s the cowards way out and not one a man of God must tread).

I can’t solve it on my own either. I simply can’t. It’s just impossible for me.

In Matthew 19:16-26, when a man asked Jesus what he must do to receive eternal life, though he had kept all the commandments, Jesus asked him to give all his wealth to the poor and come follow Him. Of course, the man did not want to do this because he had all this money and so he went away sad. Jesus went on to say that it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God. The disciples ask the Lord who then can be saved.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 9:26

The point I am trying to make here is that we cannot do it on our own strength of mind, character or will or even with years of experience. None of that will work.

I know that the situation I am in right now is a God sized situation that only God Himself can fix and work out.

What am I (are we) supposed to do?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

The Lord wants me to trust Him. It’s not easy folks. I am not finding it easy. It’s hard when the heart and emotions are involved.

But, I am relying on Him, choosing to lean on Him, letting Him know that I need Him, to see me through, to sort everything out.

Only He alone can do it.

Lord, please sort everything out because I simply can’t and don’t have the strength, wisdom or power to do it. This is my humble confession and prayer Father, in Jesus Name.

Amen.

Thank Sri 🙂