Update: March 12, 2026
I first published this post 12 years ago, on January 16, 2014. I regularly reflect on Christian friendship, especially amongst men, and decided that it was time to revisit this post and add more meat to it, as the Holy Spirit leads. The additions will be in sections like this as you read the post. I pray the LORD will use these words to both challenge and encourage you.
In March of this year, I would’ve been living in Australia for four years.
Prior to that, I had lived in Dubai and was part of a great Church (EBCI) and had a great community of Christians around me, not to mention the fact that my sister and her family lived there as well.
Leaving those relationships behind and coming to Brisbane was hard. I had no family here and I only knew two people in all of Brisbane.
I got along well (still do) with my work colleagues and ended up becoming friends with one.
Update: March 12, 2026
I am no longer in touch with my work colleagues. Life got busy, but if I am being honest, the reality is that I just didn't prioritise staying in touch.
I plugged into Church without delay and that was good and I got to meet some great Christians.
While I was/am grateful for all of the above, I was still sad/struggling because, beyond the usual friendly exchanges that we’re all familiar with, I have yet to connect at a deeper level with another guy/guys. It just didn’t happen.
I am partly to blame because I was waiting for others to make the effort and contrary to my personality and character, I didn’t make a huge push for it. Part of it was that it seemed to me that everyone already had their friends they hung out with and I didn’t want to impose or seem desperate even. Secretly, I was hoping that others would understand that I have no family or connections here, that I was lonely and therefore, would welcome me into their fold.
Fast forward to 2014, I am married and have a family to look after, but truth be told, I’m still eager to connect with other guys at a deeper level. And I’m grateful that a few are making the effort to get to know me and build that connection. I’ve also decided that I’m going to be proactive and do something about it as well, this post being part of that plan.
I’ve mentioned “deeper level” a few times now. What does that mean?
Update: March 12, 2026
Before men can connect at a deeper level with each other, it is imperative that every Christian man is actively engaged in deepening his personal relationship with Jesus. Jesus is their number one priority, which means that these men are daily meditating on God's Word, spending time in prayer, and humbly surrendering to the Holy Spirit so that He is able to transform them inside out. This is evident in the character and conduct of these men, whether at home, at work, or in church. I am not suggesting that these men are perfect; rather, they are continually being perfected and renewed by the Holy Spirit to increasingly reflect Jesus!
This is where I would like to draw your attention to David and Jonathan. Read 1 Samuel 18 to get an idea of the deep friendship that they shared. Here’s a short excerpt from that chapter.
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.
1 Samuel 18:1-3
That’s deep. Aside from the idiotic and downright ignorant insinuations from some people who question the nature of their relationship, the truth is that David and Jonathan were very dear friends. They were not the kind of friends who would pass each other up in Church, smile, say hello, exchange small talk and then move on. No, these guys made a choice to connect with each other beyond the superficial and they were blessed for it, blessed by it. David was able to deal with Saul because he had Jonathan as a friend to lean on and rely on, not because Jonathan was the son of Saul.
This is the kind of friendship I long for. It’s not impossible, but it’s a choice to be made and it takes determination.
I am willing to make the choice to “knit my soul” with other guys. I am willing to be honest, humble and put my guard down so that others can get to know me. I am determined to put in the time and effort to make such a friendship work.
Why? Because it’s worth it and can have a deep spiritual impact on those involved.
Men need to connect with other men beyond the superficial. We need to be able to talk to each other about the issues that matter, not just about sports or cars or whatever else. Jesus walks with each one of us, but there is no reason that we ought not to make the choice to truly walk with each other.
How wonderful it is to have true friends who don’t judge you or condemn you, no matter what you share or are going through, but instead, choose to love you and support you and help you walk with God?
That’s the kind of friends I’d like to have in my life. That’s the kind of friend I’m willing to be.
What about you, Christian man? Do you want to have that kind of friendship with other Christian men? Are you willing to do what it takes?
If so, get in touch with me. I’d like to organise a monthly opportunity where guys can just get together, get to know each other, hang out and get the chance to build the kind of relationship I’ve been talking about. This is beyond Church and other regular obligations. This isn’t just another ministry; it’s me expressing a desire in my heart.
Update: March 12, 2026
This would be the ideal time to share about Jesus Blokes, a Christian men's fellowship that I want to resurrect after being dormant for many years. I encourage you to visit https://www.jesusblokes.com (check out how young I was in the video!) and share your information if you are interested in building God-honouring, Biblical friendships with fellow Christian men. The only requirement (if I can put it that way) is that you are a Christian man in good standing according to Matthew 18:15-17. I also want to apologise to those who have previously shared their details but whom I never got back to. I had forgotten to enable notifications, which meant I was never notified of your submission. I will reach out to you soon so that you can let me know whether you are still interested.
We can all benefit and bless and be blessed by deep friendships, if we step out in faith.
God bless you.
Thank Sri 🙂