Many people who know me have often commented on my joyful/outgoing personality. Even today, I had someone (who isn’t Christian) mention in an email that my “positivity is always inspirational.” If I were to describe that as the “mountaintop Sri,” what most people don’t know is that there are times when the most apt description would be “death valley Sri”.
I don’t know if depression would sufficiently cover my state of being, and I don’t believe despair is accurate; I would describe myself as somewhere in the middle of those two. I think deeply about everything, so of course it’s natural for me to examine myself and learn how and why I end up in this unfortunately familiar place. While I won’t go into the specifics, I am always able to come up with a list of culprits that cause me to lament the way I do.
I don’t want to focus on how I feel (I hate it and it sucks); rather, I want to touch on how I get through such times, and perhaps how those who are in my life can support me when I share that I am in the valley.
Despite the many thoughts that cycle through my mind, it is the grace of God that sustains me through the power of His Spirit at work in me. To put it bluntly, if it weren’t for Jesus, I wouldn’t be here today. In the depths of mourning (I don’t know how else to describe it), when tears are flowing (Jesus wept, so can I), it is the love of Jesus that not only holds me up but carries me through the valley and back to the mountaintop.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
I also praise God for the fact that when I am in the valley, I don’t just stop being the person He has called me to be and stop fulfilling the many obligations and responsibilities I have. It is not because of who I am (my emotions and thoughts are all over the place); rather, it is the Spirit of God enabling me to be disciplined and focused to get things done to my usual standards. The LORD also graciously enables me to rise above my feelings and share the Good News of Jesus with others because my feelings are temporary, but the fact remains that Jesus is my Saviour and Lord.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
How can you help? I pray the Holy Spirit will give you discernment to know when I am in the valley and not take it personally when I seem disconnected or distant; instead, please lift me up to the LORD in prayer. If you are close enough, be open to the Holy Spirit to use you as He sees fit.
I didn’t write this post for pity, but to be honest and transparent, and to point you to Jesus, who can help you the same way He helps me. In the meantime, I will continue to rely on the Holy Spirit to remain in Jesus.
I am the vine and you are the branches. Those who stay united with Me, and I with them, are the ones who bear much fruit; because apart from Me you can’t do a thing. John 15:5
Please feel free to reach out to me if you find yourself in the valley. I’m not Jesus, but I truly believe He can use me to help you.
God bless.
Thank Sri 🙂